Productized audit · async · fixed price
The Lifecycle Teardown.
I read your CRM the way I read Uber’s: find the five places it leaks money, and hand you the fix list. €600, five business days, zero calls.
For D2C and SaaS teams on Klaviyo, Braze, Iterable, Customer.io or SFMC who suspect their lifecycle program underperforms — and want a senior read before committing to anything bigger.
What you get
- 01A scored teardown of your lifecycle program across 8 dimensions — segmentation, triggers vs batch, timing, deliverability basics, offer logic, copy, measurement, journey coverage.
- 02The top 5 revenue leaks, ranked by estimated impact — each with the mechanism, not just the symptom.
- 0310 quick wins you can ship in the next 30 days with the team you already have.
- 04A 90-day priority map — what to fix first and why, so nothing depends on hiring me.
- 05A 20-minute Loom walkthrough of the whole document, recorded, yours to keep and share.
How it works
- 01You fill in a 10-minute intake (your ESP, your last 6 months of campaign exports — read-only, screenshots and CSVs are fine; no production access needed).
- 02I do the work. Five business days. No meetings, no discovery calls, no “quick syncs”.
- 03You get the document + Loom. Questions answered async by email for 14 days after delivery.
Price & guarantee
€600, fixed. If the teardown doesn’t give you at least three changes worth shipping, I refund it — you keep the document. Booked a full Diagnostic (€2,900) within 60 days? The €600 is credited.
See the format first
Two public teardowns, written cold, show exactly what you’ll receive: Finom and Talabat. Yours goes deeper — it runs on your actual exports.
Why me
I owned the merchant lifecycle layer at Uber Eats — 250,000 merchants, 17 countries, ~2M comms a month. +49% CTR, deliverability from ~84% to 95%+, a WhatsApp channel that returned >80× email’s ROI. Before that: PrivatBank (built the country’s largest CRM team), StuDocu, ALLO. Twelve years of finding the leak before touching the send button. The short version of what I do: independent CRM consultant, deliverability to architecture.
Questions before you start
Do we need to get on a call?
No. The whole point is that you get senior judgment without renting my calendar. Everything is written, recorded, async.
What access do you need?
Read-only exports and screenshots. If you can’t share something, I work around it and flag the blind spot in the document.
What if our setup is a mess?
Mess is the normal case. A teardown of a messy program is usually worth more — the leaks are bigger.
Start the teardown
Async intake by email while the form is being wired up — same zero-call promise.